Top Ten Reasons Why Global Warming Rules

10. Everyone wishes they lived closer to the beach.

9. Maintaining a real suntan all year long is now a distinct possibility. (maybe all those tacky tanning bed salons will go under)

8. Mini skirts in December!!!

7. Greenland will actually be green. (maybe then all those people who claim to "live green" can move there and leave me alone)

6. With the advanced decomposition rate of an ever-broadening tropical climate zone, there will be no need to bother with recycling.

5. It provides an excellent scapegoat for everything that goes wrong. (this will be especially vital after Bush leaves office)

4. Everyone loves good fiction.

3. It is a FREE byproduct of my greedy, self-consumed, capitalistic lifestyle.

2. With the expansion of tropical rain forests and savanna vegetation zones into the Northern Hemisphere, perhaps endangered species such as jaguars and tigers could be introduced into the wilds of North America. (I'm getting tired of only hunting deer)

and . . .


the number 1 reason . . .


With less polar bears around, the demand for Coca-cola will fall and I'll be able to afford more of my favorite beverage.

Veteran's Day

In light of the main media constantly down-playing and ignoring the wonderful progress being made in Iraq as of late; it is quite possible that today's soldier faces more mental stress and heartbreak than at any time in American history. At least U.S. soldiers B. H. (before hippies) struggled against the enemy with the piece of mind that the entire country had confidence in their purpose and mission. Sadly, veterans of WWII, like my grandfathers, are dying out and with them their unyielding patriot pride that comes from defending a unified nation. Hopefully time will heal the divisions over this war. Then the cause and sacrifice of today's soldier will be remembered to be every bit as noble and just as those brave men of yesteryear, because it is.

God bless all soldiers and veterans.